Do you listen to yourself? Do you ever stop and listen to how you talk to yourself? Did you know that the way we talk to ourselves can have a massive impact on the way we think, feel and view ourselves? All this affects our emotional health and general wellbeing. So many times I hear people with negative self talk.
“I’m no good at …”
“I can’t do ….”
“I’m so silly”
“I don’t deserve ……”
and often an awful lot worse! Anything sound familiar?
Would you talk this way to your best friend, partner, child? (Gosh I hope not!!!!) What would you do if you heard them talking in this way?
So stop just for a moment and ask yourself, is this OK? Really? Is it OK that I use so much negative self talk to myself?
OK I know you’ll have some early beliefs in there too. Possibly a little voice saying “don’t show off” or “stop boasting” however there’s probably also a little voice saying “be kind” and “talk nicely”. Remember, you’re all grown up now and you do know how to relate and interact!! We need to apply some of this to ourselves now.
You know, there are plenty of people in the world who will have something negative to say about you. You don’t have to join in with them! Negativity drags you down, drains your energy, increases stress, puts pressure on yourself and knocks your confidence.
So how do we change this self talk?
Listen to Yourself
Maybe as you read this you already know some of the things you say about yourself, or maybe you need to take a little time to actually listen to the words you use, the phrases you say and the way you talk to yourself and even about yourself. What do you hear? Negative phrases and comments can become embedded in your subconscious mind so that you repeat them without realising. Once you start listening to yourself you’ll be surprised at what you hear.
Be Your Own Best Friend
If you want to make improvements in your own self talk and improve the way you think and feel about yourself then you need to be your own best friend. Think about how you might guide and advise your best friend and then turn that phrasing, positivity and praise towards yourself. It might not be easy for you to hear – initially. It will get better and easier the more you do it.
Yes, be kind! Be kind to yourself and be kind to others around you too. Although we’re working on self talk, all talk is important. It’s much easier to have complete positive thoughts and language rather than kind words for yourself and forgetting to be positive and kind to others around you! If you see someone with great hair or gorgeous shoes, say so! If your child shows nice manners, say “hey nice manners”. You will feel good, but you know what? They will too and so it improves the attitude of everyone around you that you interact with. That in itself reduces the negativity.
We are rubbish at this. Particularly us with the good British stiff-upper -lip / don’t-show-our-feelings malarkey. When we don’t show our feelings to others, we don’t show them to ourselves. So, start to complement yourself. Start with 3 parts of your body to begin with, if it’s tough. Look in the mirror and compliment one of those body parts, say what you like about it, then move to the next. Do this regularly and see if you notice a difference in the way you feel about yourself.
Talking more positively to ourselves will have a great impact on the way we view ourselves. You start to embed more positive comments and phrases in your subconscious mind, so they become more automatic and then progress and positivity gets easier and easier. So go on, start today, change the way you talk to yourself. You deserve it!
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