You might have heard the term emotional bucket floating around (excuse the pun), but what does it actually mean? And more importantly, how do you know if yours is overflowing?

Let’s break it down, because understanding your emotional bucket is more crucial than ever in 2025.

What is an Emotional Bucket?

Your emotional bucket is a simple but powerful way of visualising how we store feelings — especially the tricky, tough, or heavy ones.

We’re talking about everyday stress, anxiety, self-doubt, feelings of not being good enough, and even the more hidden emotions like shame or embarrassment. Add to that the pressure of rising living costs, job insecurity, digital overwhelm from 24/7 connectivity, and social comparison from endless social media scrolling… well, it’s no surprise that many people’s buckets are dangerously close to overflowing.

When these feelings build up (whether slowly over time or quickly after a tough week), they sit quietly in our emotional bucket. The problem? If we don’t learn how to release or manage them, the bucket eventually spills over. That’s when we start to feel like we’re at breaking point.

How Can You Tell If Your Emotional Bucket is Overflowing?

There are some pretty clear signs, if you know what to look for. You might notice:

• Feeling constantly overwhelmed or on edge
• Bursting into tears or snapping in frustration over small things
• Struggling to concentrate or make decisions
• Feeling anxious, irritable, or trapped in negative thinking loops
• Difficulty sleeping, or waking up already feeling exhausted
• An ongoing sense of “I just can’t cope anymore”

Sound familiar?

As a coach and hypnotherapist, I work with people every day who feel like this. The good news is, we can do something about it.

If you’re looking for help to manage the overflow of emotions then coaching and hypnotherapy can be really helpful to give tools to empty your bucket or rebalance your emotions. Get in touch here to book a call to discuss more.

What About an Empty Bucket?

Interestingly, a completely empty emotional bucket isn’t healthy either. If your bucket feels empty, you might experience:

• Emotional numbness
• Feeling fed up, bored, or detached from life
• Constant tiredness, even when you’re resting
• Low mood or signs of depression
• Struggling to find motivation or enjoyment in things you once loved

We’re aiming for balance — not an overflowing bucket, and not an empty one either.

How Coaching and Hypnotherapy Can Help Rebalance?

In 2025, many of us are juggling more demands than ever, and while self-help tools are brilliant, sometimes you need deeper support. That’s where coaching and hypnotherapy come in.

As a coach, I help you identify what’s filling your bucket in the first place. We work together to build resilience, set healthier boundaries, and create coping strategies tailored to your life. It’s not about adding more to your to-do list — it’s about clearing space for what truly matters.

Hypnotherapy goes a layer deeper. It helps you access your subconscious mind, where many of these emotional triggers and patterns live. Through hypnotherapy, we can gently release the emotional build-up, reduce anxiety, and develop a more positive, calm mindset. Many clients describe it as finally turning off the relentless mental noise.

Together, coaching and hypnotherapy create a powerful toolkit for maintaining emotional balance.

Everyday Tools to Lighten Your Emotional Load

Alongside professional support, there are plenty of small, daily actions that can help ease the strain and either empty your overflowing bucket or fill an empty one.

Here are some tried-and-tested favourites from my coaching clients (and from my own experience too!):

• Spend quality time with people who uplift you
• Limit doom-scrolling on social media (a big one for 2025!)
• Get outside — nature has an incredible way of grounding us
• Move your body in any way you enjoy — dancing, walking, yoga
• Nourish your body with healthy, satisfying food
• Try mindfulness or breathing exercises to calm your nervous system
• Get creative: painting, baking, gardening, or even doodling
• Take a tech break — let your brain recharge
• Listen to music that boosts your mood
• Explore alternative therapies like massage, reflexology, or aromatherapy
• Visualisation exercises — imagine your emotional weight floating away in a balloon or drifting out to sea (yes, this really works!)

Most importantly: give yourself permission to pause.

Start Balancing Your Bucket Today

This term isn’t just a nice metaphor — it’s a real way to understand your mental and emotional health. If yours feels unmanageable right now, please know that you’re not alone.

Through coaching and hypnotherapy, we can work together to create space, release what’s weighing you down, and build the emotional resilience you need to thrive in 2025 and beyond.

If this resonates with you, please do go to my contact page and drop me an email or book a call to discuss how coaching and hypnotherapy can benefit you to keep your emotions balanced so that you have fantastic yet simple ways to control your emotions.

Emma Langton has over 13 years experience in supporting leaders to enhance engagement, performance and wellbeing. Her coaching, training and speaking is valued by individuals and organisations across the UK for getting results quickly with her straight talking Yorkshire style.

Often referred to by her clients as the boundary queen and the resilience goddess, she shares her passion for progress with practical tips and advice so that her clients improve leadership skills, reduce stress and pressure and elevate wellbeing. She regularly provides insights for BBC, Forbes, Metro and also has a podcast called Lessons for Leaders with 100 episodes.

Yet true hypnotherapy is no daft party trick; it is a reliable strategy for people to overcome detrimental behaviours, like fear, anxiety, overeating or smoking. We can do this by effectively rewiring the depths of the mind and changing the way we respond to certain situations and changing the way we view those situations.

However, it is sensible to ask ‘Does hypnotherapy work?’ if you’re wondering about trying it out for yourself. Since there is much misunderstanding about this type of hypnotherapeutic approach, it’s important for you to learn about the way it helps and what rewards it can bring.

Do Hypnotherapy “Put me to sleep?”

The word hypnosis comes from the greek work ‘hypnos’ which does indeed mean sleep.  However, when hypnosis was originally used, it was thought that the person was asleep.  It was later proven that a person is imply in a deep state of relaxation.

I know I’m stating the obvious here but hypnotherapy is hypnosis PLUS therapy.  We all experience hypnosis naturally, many times in our everyday lives.

• Have you ever got lost in the story of a book or totally absorbed in a film, tv or programme so that you didn’t notice how much time has gone by?
• Do you ever lay on a beach or in the garden and you are so relaxed in the warmth of the sun that you can’t be bothered to lift your head to see what that noise was, or even what the kids are up to?
• Are you a jogger or cyclist who can lose themselves in the rhythm of the repetitive action of moving your feet – sometimes called ‘being in the zone’

All that and more are hypnotic trances. You are not asleep. You are in a deep state of focused awareness and this can be a state of relaxation or during an upbeat activity too. As with these activities, during therapy your visual and auditory awareness is usually retained during a hypnosis session. However, due to the fact our perception of time shifts when we are in a hypnotic state, numerous people are dumbfounded by the span of time that has passed in the hypnotic aspect of the session.

Whilst in this ‘state’ using different therapeutic tools and techniques and by making use of the subconscious mind I can then work with you to change unhelpful thinking with new constructive thoughts. The subconscious remembers all of what we have seen or dealt with, unlike the conscious mind which rather quickly forgets the majority of our experiences.

An hypnotic approach works by gaining access to these concealed images and beliefs to create new, more favourable beliefs and behaviours.

Is there Genuine Success with Hypnotherapy?

Since Matt Damon said to Jay Leno on TV seeing a hypnotherapist was “the greatest decision I ever made in my life”, it seems that it became the coolest thing to do in Hollywood. Stacks of sports stars, movie stars, politicians, and other famous people are turning to  hypnotherapy for addictions, phobias, fears  and weight loss.

• Britain’s Prince Harry used hypnotherapy to quit smoking
• Pregnant Kate Middleton used Hypnotherapy to regain appetite following morning sickness
• Supermodel Kate Moss used Hypnotherapy for pregnancy
• Mel B was getting hypnosis for stage fright
• Actress/model Eva Mendes had hypnotherapy to overcome her arachnophobia – an irrational fear of spiders.

Even though a hypnotic approach might have only just acquired widespread awareness, it is definitely not a new strategy – at the end of the 19th century, a commissioned study by the British Medical Association found that “as a therapeutic agent hypnotism is frequently effective in relieving pain, procuring sleep, and alleviating many functional ailment.”

Einstein is even believed to have used it!

With more than one hundred years of favourable feedback, and many personal successes, hypnotherapy gives a tried-and-tested solution to solve a large selection of issues.

Find our more here about the hypnotherapy I provide and read about testimonials from people I have worked with.

This ‘swan effect’ – it’s common; appearing calm and together on the surface, yet not quite showing all that’s going on.  Deep down, there’s feelings of anxiety, not coping, guilt or failure. Maybe your stomach is churning or the pressure is building and you feel like there’s a weight on your shoulders or something heavy on your chest. Perhaps you’re just tired, beyond tired and short tempered? I know. In fact, that’s been me – frequently.

With two adopted children who have extensive trauma and special needs, life at home can stressful and demanding. Sometimes it can feel like its demanding all the time actually, especially when a day or week seems to be fully of phone calls from schools, strops and meltdowns each morning and night, more time and more care is needed for all those things which should be simple and straightforward. I know.

So what can you do to get back to feeling like you are coping?

6 Ways to Change the Swan Effect

Prioritise

What’s important?  It might be that you really need that sleep, instead of using the swan effect and secretly staying up late trying to get everything done. Get your sleep. We all find it hard to function when we are tired. Never sacrifice your sleep, always prioritise it. Maybe it’s something else you really need, you personally. Put that to the top of your list.

Revitalise

Spend time with your partner or kids or friends. We are social mammals, we really need connections with other people, we need conversations, interaction and to laugh and find joy, somewhere, with – well, anyone really! Go and interact because it really lifts the feel-good chemicals and helps us to feel revitalised.

Leave stuff

The swan effect has us sorting everything – gracefully.  But is it necessary?  Seriously. Just leave it. Whatever “it” is, leave it. This might be the housework, shopping, kids homework, cleaning the car – whatever, just leave it. I know! Shocking suggestion, but really – the washing and tidying will still be there and it comes back far too quickly too, so leave it, just for an hour or day or so (I’m not talking about forever).

Filter

People only talk about the good stuff and the really bad stuff. So, when all you are hearing at the office or on the playground is people’s achievement, or even if you are reading about all this on Social media or wherever, remember that it’s people sharing what they want you to know. They’re not going to show you their swan effect, or talk about the fact that they are not coping, or the sibling rivalry and bickering that goes on every day are they! Will they’re tell you about that big pile of ironing that’s hidden somewhere? (that’s what I do!). So, filter information and only pay attention to what you want to, whilst keeping an amount of reality in mind. Don’t let other people drain you with their woes.

Delegate or Ask

Are there things you can delegate to colleagues or members of your family? Are there things you might hate doing that others don’t mind? Doesn’t matter if it takes them so much longer, it’s their time they use – not yours! Sometimes people just need to be asked because they have an attitude of ‘ you seem to have it under control’ or ‘I didn’t like to interfere’ or (my husband’s favourite) “you are so good at it”.   Ask.  I ask my husband to iron or buy an M&S meal for tea.

Relax

What is your idea of real, complete relaxation? Mine’s a sunshine and beach, which is not easily doable however, I will take myself off for a soak in the bath. What could you do? Read a book, do something creative, listen to hypnosis. As well as taking time to revitalise, take time to relax too – it’s important.

So I’d love to know how this can help you or what, if any, of these things you already do.  Let me know in the comments space below or drop me an email or pop over to my contact page and drop me an email.

Hi, I’m Emma, providing Coaching and hypnotherapy in York and online, with a particular interest in helping you with anxiety, stress, fears and phobias so that you can take back control of your thoughts and feelings.  That way you can quickly and easily feel more able to cope with your busy life! There are no magic wands or quick fixes instead I give you personalised tools that work for you and fit with your lifestyle.

Why Do You Need Hypnotherapy for Phobias?

If you’ve been living with a phobia for some time, chances are it’s bothering you more than you’d like to admit and that’s why I always recommend hypnotherapy for phobias, above all other options such as coaching, CBT or exposure therapy.

Do you have a phobia? Not sure? What’s going on with your phobia anyway?

The dictionary defines a phobia as

“a compelling fear or dread, especially of a particular object or situation”

What’s Going on with Your Phobia?

Let’s face it, we are not born with phobias or fears so why do they occur and what can we do about it? Phobias are irrational fears that are a lot more extreme than a general feeling of worry or dislike.

We might be fearful of something and that creates a fear response in a part of our brain designed to keep us safe from danger. However, a phobia occurs when there is an irrational fear of circumstances (like a fear of the dark) or objects (like mice).

How Can Hypnotherapy Help Your Phobia?

Even though frightening, the phobic reaction has often been established by the subconscious part of our brain to protect us from that perceived threat. The sufferer experiences a strong psychological reaction if and when they are exposed to the phobic trigger. For some, simply thinking about their fear is sufficient for a severe sufferer to actually feel anxious and panicky.

That’s why we’re scared of horror films!  It doesn’t have to be real – it can be ‘perceived’ as a threat and that’s where hypnotherapy for phobias is really helpful.

Because hypnotherapy guides you into a relaxed state of mind, it means that hypnotherapy for phobias works by gently accessing the underlying cause of the phobia and eliminating the any associated conditioned response.

Some signs of a phobia can be:

• Fast heart beat
• Shortness of breath
• Shaking or trembling
• Hot flush or sweating
• Feeling dizzy or nauseous

Often when people come to see me for hypnotherapy for phobias, they say others in their lives have said they are being silly. This is because others do not perceive the trigger as posing the same level of threat or danger. However, a phobia or fear is not something we can just switch off or stop reacting to!

Can we Get Used to Living with Phobias?

Sometimes a person may find a way to live with a phobia by avoiding situations where they may be exposed to the fear.  They might get their partner to remove the spider!  They may organize their life around the fear, like the person I saw who travelled for days over land just to go on holiday and avoid flying! Maybe they just cope somehow, but not exposing themselves very often … like having the fear of the dentist, where a person just doesn’t go or manages (sometimes badly) with the twice yearly visits.  Sometimes a person my just avoid or restrict their lives, like a person with agoraphobia who avoids going out.

How Do You Use Hypnotherapy for Phobias?

Phobias are really common and the majority of them are quite easy to resolve. People with phobias usually respond quickly and very well to the use of hypnotherapy for phobias because it works on the subconscious where the root beliefs reside.

Hypnotherapy for phobias uses relaxation strategies to help with the anxiety that is raised then desensitise the situation. This enables you to receiving the hypnotherapy for phobias treatment to get into your subconscious, sometimes we can identify the root of the phobia and overcome it.

For many people hypnotherapy offers a way to get rid of a phobia quickly and easily regardless of how long they have had the problem.

So, if you’ve been struggling in some area of life because of a phobia, perhaps now is the appropriate time to get it sorted for good.

Hi, I’m Emma, Hypnotherapist in York with a particular interest in helping you with anxiety, stress, fears and phobias so that you can take back control of your thoughts and feelings.  That way you can quickly and easily feel more able to cope with your busy life! There are no magic wands or quick fixes instead I give you personalised tools that work for you and fit with your lifestyle.

So, are you ready to let go of that old anxiety, fear or phobia? Do you want to live a happier, stress free life? Book your complimentary consultation here and find out how you can reach your goals and really enjoy life!

Find out more about hypnotherapy here and read about testimonials from people I have worked with on phobias and fears. 

Anxiety can differ from person to person. Some people have lots of similar symptoms and others only have a few. It’s very much based on individual perceptions of the situation.  There can also be intense fear which can happen suddenly and just seem to take over the body.  When this happens a person might notice a mixture of symptoms and these can differ from person to person. Often there can be an underlying cause for anxiety and for others there seems to be no reason at all.

Anxiety can be a very personal issue so let me share a personal story with you. Ashley came to see me after struggling for quite a while with anxiety. Ashley told me it felt like there was a new problem every day. She was overthinking every little thing, then worrying about the negative thoughts, then becoming frustrated because it all became a vicious circle.

Ashley was getting really upset, crying a lot and had no motivation. She was unable to focus, feeling sick and really tense, particularly in her jaw.  She was getting angry and frustrated at having these feelings all the time and just didn’t want to go out – which was totally unlike her.

So let me tell you how I helped Ashley in just 5 sessions to go from

I’m scared and feel like I’m dying”

to

I feel much calmer and more focussed and I enjoy doing things again.”

1. Free Initial Chat

We’d had a chat on the phone before we even began to work together. (I offer a 15 minute telephone consultation so that enquirers can explain a little more about their situation and I can explain about how I work.  Everyone needs to make sure they feel comfortable with me; I need to ensure that their situation is something I believe I can work with too.  So this Free chat is a good way to check that.  Occasionally I might suggest someone needs to go to their GP, or refer them to someone else.  Sometimes we discover that our availabilities don’t match and I can direct to other therapists too.)

After a brief chat with Ashley we agreed on my 4 Session Anxiety Package and booked the dates into our diaries. 4 sessions is often enough although because each person is different additional sessions are added on if needed.  As I began working with Ashley we realised that we would need to add one more session to help Ashley overcome her anxiety.

2. First Meeting

When I met Ashley I could see a glimmer of the bubbly, smiley person that was clearly struggling underneath all this anxiety.  She explained that this anxiety had started around the time her younger sister had become ill.  It had been quite a long, traumatic time for her and all her family.

Towards the end of the first session I guided Ashley into hypnosis and gave her some tools and relaxation tips to take away and practice at home.

3. Implementing Changes

We discovered, through the use of hypnosis, that during the process of staying strong for her sister and being supportive to her mum, Ashley had hardly cried and kept all feelings locked in, so that she could cope with everything else going on.  She also began to recognise that she felt sad, scared and even a bit helpless.

I gave Ashley an audio to use at home to enhance the work we did in sessions.

4. Anxiety in the Body

We worked on therapeutically releasing those stored up feelings so that they no longer felt trapped inside.  Ashely described her anxiety as feeling like “bubbling butterflies in her tummy”.  This release method also helped Ashley to change those feelings and be less trapped with her anxiety.  These are tools that can be taken away and continued to be used each day.

Anxiety can have a big impact on our bodies and bodily functions too.  So we discussed what happens and ways to improve general health and wellbeing on a daily basis.

We also worked on de-sensitising the thoughts and feelings which were still vivid in her mind from when her sister was ill.  We can’t take away the events but we can make them less painful to remember.

5. Last Session

Ashley was now sleeping much better and woke feeling she wanted get up each day.  She said

I feel much calmer and more focussed; my head’s not racing and there’s no intrusive thoughts.  I feel more motivated and able to function.  Best of all I enjoy doing things again.”

We round off the therapy sessions by pulling together all the tools, techniques and progress in a final hypnotherapy session so that these new ways are deeply embedded into the subconscious mind.  That way, all the new ways of reacting and responding that we achieve in therapy, become much more automatic and part of everyday life.

Do you suffer from anxiety? How does it feel for you? Perhaps you can identify with Ashley’s “bubbling butterflies in her tummy” or perhaps anxiety feels completely different for you.

Or are we?

How often have you heard these common phrases or even used them yourself?

That’s a weight off my mind/shoulder”

It’s a pain in the neck”

I’m weighed down by guilt”

There’s a lot of research that highlights that we do indeed hold feelings in our bodies. This research states that we do have physical experiences as a result of thoughts or feelings. How many times have you been in stressful or high pressure situations and find you have tight shoulders, back ache or headache from the tension? It’s a common problem. Even if you don’t think you are talking about feelings, there are a whole load of comments and phrases we use that actually identifies that we have feelings and how they are making us feel!

How is this relevant to you?

When we meet someone for the first time or are getting to know them we might say they are a “bit cold” or that we “warmed” to them. So we get some sort of physical response to that situation too. What about being “frozen with terror” or “trembling with fear”. Did you ever stop to think about having a physical response to the feelings in any situation where these phrases were relevant to you?

It’s not all doom and gloom though. We also get bodily feelings and sensations for the good stuff that goes on in our lives too. Have you ever felt like jumping for joy, or had a surge or pride or tingling with excitement? I do hope so!

What can we do about these feelings?

When we live in a world where stresses and strains become common-place in our daily lives, we are bound to have times when we store tension or stress and end up with that weight on our minds. Recognising when these stresses and strains are there and having someone to talk to about them can be a good thing. It means you have a hope of catching the situation before you get the point it being a pain in the neck – or however it is that it affects you. Having tools, techniques or other things in your life that help you release these bodily sensations is a great thing. You can recognise when things are getting too much and find a way to let it go.

There’s a few psychologists who really support paying attention to what our bodies are doing and how they feel. They do great work with severely traumatised people by working with what’s going on in the body. If it’s life changing for people with severe trauma, then it’s going to be pretty good for us in our everyday lives.

More and more studies are advocating that the most effective way to change the way we think is to ensure we also pay attention to our bodily feelings and experiences. It’s certainly important in the work I do.

Let’s talk about feelings

Now that you have a better insight into the language of emotions you can begin to hear if you are using these sorts of phrases to talk about your feelings. By paying attention to the way you talk and also the way your body feels you can catch those feelings and any associated thoughts and responses to help you change your behaviour, change your responses and help you feel better in your everyday life.

I’d really love you to let me know of any phrases you use! Let me know in the comments below or drop me a email.

Increasing an attitude of gratitude in your day can be incredibly helpful to your overall wellbeing.  Many people find that by regularly taking time to notice things that we are grateful for can change their whole attitude.  After keeping a gratitude journal or diary for a short time you might find that you are noticing things more easily that you might not normally have noticed.  Researchers have found that it can help reduce stress, increase positivity, help sleep, improve relationships and develops resilience.  That’s quite a bit isn’t it?

So, how do we get started with a gratitude journal?

Write it Down

It doesn’t matter whether you choose a little notebook, a journal, a diary or something else for your gratitude journal.  It can be paper or electronic.  It’s entirely up to you and there’s no right or wrong with this.  We are different, so find something that suits you.  The main point is that you’ve got somewhere or something that you can come back to every day to keep a note of things.

Some people will just write a few words, bullet points or a little list.  Others may have more flowing journaling information.  Again, it’s really up to you – and it’s OK if this changes.

Commit

The important thing is that there is a long term commitment to this.  That doesn’t mean you have to set aside hours in your day.  Try and find time once a day, or several times a week to come back to your diary / journal / notebook and add information to it.  Make sure it’s reasonable and achievable.  Avoid having the routine too rigid otherwise if there are times when you don’t manage it you’ll just want to give up.  Many people find that taking time at the end or beginning of the day works well.

What to Write?

Choose 3-5 things each day and make a note of them.  These don’t need to be big things.  Just the little things in life.  You might be grateful for your partner, child or the dog!  I’m always grateful for my duvet (I love my sleep!!).  It might be for a parking space, that the bus was on time, you had an umbrella when it rained.  If you are grateful for ‘things’ try and keep them simple things, rather than big grand expensive things because they are not easily achievable consistently.  We don’t want you always looking for something out of your reach.

Remember yourself!  Be grateful for you, the things that you do, the thing you are able to do.  Be grateful for your breath, that your legs walk you around, that you are able to get up and about each day.    Not everyone is able to do this!  When days are difficult, I am always grateful for my strength and resilience to be able to carry on and get through each day.

Keep the gratitude as purely positive things and do reflect back to ensure you are mixing things up a bit and not writing the same thing every day (although my duvet does feature highly in my list several times a week!).

Create the Habit

Experts say it takes 21 days for a new habit to form and then a little longer for it be embedded and become “normal” in your life.  So give this a fair chance.  Do it for a month or even two and then see if you notice a difference.

When you write things down and do it regularly you create something to look back on.  The gratitude builds in your diary and within you too.  Then at times of difficulty you can also look back through your gratitude journal and have something to reflect on and lift you up, help you to keep going. This can be so simple and easy to use to boost you at times when you feel stressed or fed up.

I’d love to know how you get on with your gratitude journal.  Use the comments box below or email me or pop over to share on my Facebook Page.

What is an emotional bucket and how on earth would you know if it is overflowing?  How could you tell?  Well, our emotional bucket is a term I use for a place inside us where we store our feelings.  Some of our feelings are not always on show are they?  When that happens we need a place to store them.  Often these can be feelings that come from stress or anxiety.  Sometimes they can also be from things like self-doubt, feeling not good enough, embarrassment and shame.  Feelings can also be from other areas in our lives like pressures at home or work and even from the way we are treated.

We all need some emotion in our day to day lives.  When we have these feelings and situations that are difficult, negative, cruel or unpleasant then that’s when we use the emotional bucket as a place to store them.  If these emotions are coming quickly or frequently in our lives, for whatever reason, then this bucket might get full quite quickly.  For others it might take a long time to full the bucket.  The speed at which it fills is not really the issue.  For me when I work with people, my concern is how full it is and what can be done about it.

How do we know if our bucket is too full?

Storing these emotions is perfectly normal.  It wouldn’t do to be walking around every day letting anger burst out, or have tears flowing all the time.  If you often feel worried or nervous, frustrated, sad, irritable, angry, scared, upset, overwhelmed, inadequate or even wanting to escape then it’s likely that your emotional bucket is overflowing.

How do we know if our bucket is empty?

So if the bucket is completely empty then that’s not going to be great either.  If this is the case then you might feel low, fed up, tired all the time, bored, negative, nervous, anxious or even depressed.  An empty bucket can also drain those around you too.

We need our buckets to be somewhere in the middle, just right.  That way we can be happier, more comfortable about ourselves and others, think more clearly, make better decisions and generally enjoy life more.

What helps all of this?

A really powerful way is to visualise letting go of the feelings.  Imagine you are gathering up all the thoughts and feelings related to the anxiety, negativity (or whatever) and in your mind picture filling a hot air balloon with them and letting it float up into the sky.  Or you can load up a boat and have them float out to sea, or anything else really.  I once had a lady imagine putting everything on an island and blowing it up!  Whatever works for you is good.

There are lots of smaller ways to add positivity and some pause in your day or your life.  Whether this is a deep breath between one task and the next or something that takes a bit more time, it can all be helpful.  Here are some suggestions that can help empty the bucket and also fill a bucket which is feeling empty:

• Spending time with others, partners, friends, family (as long as they kind and thoughtful)
• Laughing, smiling, feeling joy
• Eating healthily, so that you nourish yourself from the inside
• Going to for a walk or run
• Spending time in nature
• Dancing or singing
• Being creative with things like baking, knitting, drawing or all manner of things that bring achievement.
• Listening to Music
• Reading anything enjoyable and absorbing
• Zoning out – watching a film or ‘rubbishy’ tv programmes
• Doing nothing!
• Alternative therapies like massage or reflexology
• Problem solving the issue, if possible

There’s probably a lot more you could add to this list.  I’d love to know what you do.  Let me know in the comments space below or drop me an email or pop over to share on my Facebook Page.

If you are a regular reader of my blogs you will probably have noticed that I often talk about visualising or visualization.  A lot of other people also talk about it too, but do you what exactly it is – or do you know how to do it or even – what’s the point of visualizing?

Well, many people are visualising each and every day to help them with general day to day life, or for health issues.  Some people just use visualising here and there in their lives, or for specific times or situations.  So to help you decide what’s the point of visualising, here are some tips and reasons.

Brain Power

Research has shown that the brain cannot distinguish between real and imaginary.  Really!  So whether we actually do something, or visualise doing something, or brains believe we’ve actually done it.  So, let’s say you visualise calmly and confidently taking your driving test, functioning in the exact way you really want to be able to do it.  Then when it comes to actually taking your test, your brain believes you’ve already done it the way you visualised. To your brain it’s already an established memory, so it’s so much easier to do the test with calm confidence.  You can see how this can apply to all sorts of things!

Feel Empowered

When you visualise being the way you wish to be – calm, confident, healthy, strong, energized (and lots more) it can really help you to feel empowered. You really begin to get a sense of control over your life or certain situations.

With health situations it shifts the power away from doctors, hospitals, medicine and drugs (they have their place, of course).  It helps to feel a sense of control and that a person can cope / feel calm / be positive with situation or circumstances around the illness or health issues.

Self-Belief

When you start to see the positive effects of visualising, as I’ve mentioned above, and you begin to feel capable and empowered.  Then the sense of self control begins to grow within you.   So then it helps you to develop a greater belief in yourself and your own abilities.  You can really begin to feel able to do the things you want to do, in the way you want to do them.   Belief has enormous power for change!  Think about a time when you believed in yourself and how easy it was to be successful or achieve that goal.

We can always harness a little (or even a lot) more self-belief, so harnessing the belief in the point of visualising and how it can help is going to be a good thing!

“The future depends on what we do in the present”

Mahatma Ghandi

How to Visualise

You don’t have to be great at seeing pictures in your mind.  Some people just have a sense of how they want to be, others have a vague picture.  Some imagine a scene on a kind of screen in front, others imagine being in the actual scene.  Any way is fine, whatever is best for you.

1.  Set your sights.

Write down or think of a few bullet points about what your goal is.  Get really clear on this, no vague or wishy-washy desires here.  Be specific.

2.  Think about Thoughts.

Identify how you want to think.  A couple of positive phrase such as I am confident, I can do this, I am OK

3.  Filter your Feelings.

Identify how you want to feel.  Where in your body do you want to feel this?  Feelings could be about being happy, comfortable, steady, strong.

4.  Be Aware of Your Body.

Remember body language is hugely beneficial to how we respond.  So how would your body want to look, be, respond.  Is it shoulder back, a steady hand, head held high, smile on face?

5.  Set Aside Time

• Make sure you have a few minutes, or longer to be free of distraction so you can focus on this and nothing else.
• Bring up your picture
• Add in the positive thoughts, the feelings, the body language and posture
• Really enhance all these. Imagine turning up the intensity or the brightness or volume.
• Bring in all the sensory details, sights, sounds, smells, taste or touch if applicable.
• Pay attention to the detail of your thoughts, feelings and actions.
• Play through the scene in your mind a few times until it looks or feels how you want it to be.

I’d love to know if this helps your self belief, empowerment in any way.  Do please let me know in the comments space below or drop me an email or pop over to share on my Facebook Page.

Hi, I’m Emma, Hypnotherapist in York with a particular interest in helping you with anxiety, stress, fears and phobias so that you can take back control of your thoughts and feelings.  That way you can quickly and easily feel more able to cope with your busy life! There are no magic wands or quick fixes instead I give you personalised tools that work for you and fit with your lifestyle.

Do you listen to yourself?  Do you ever stop and listen to how you talk to yourself? Did you know that the way we talk to ourselves can have a massive impact on the way we think, feel and view ourselves?  All this affects our emotional health and general wellbeing.  So many times I hear people with negative self talk.

“I’m no good at …”

“I can’t do ….”

“I’m so silly”

“I’m fat”

“I don’t deserve ……”

and often an awful lot worse!  Anything sound familiar?

Would you talk this way to your best friend, partner, child? (Gosh I hope not!!!!) What would you do if you heard them talking in this way?

So stop just for a moment and ask yourself, is this OK?  Really?  Is it OK that I use so much negative self talk to myself?

OK I know you’ll have some early beliefs in there too.  Possibly a little voice saying “don’t show off” or “stop boasting” however there’s probably also a little voice saying “be kind” and “talk nicely”.   Remember, you’re all grown up now and you do know how to relate and interact!!  We need to apply some of this to ourselves now.

You know, there are plenty of people in the world who will have something negative to say about you.  You don’t have to join in with them!  Negativity drags you down, drains your energy, increases stress, puts pressure on yourself and knocks your confidence.

So how do we change this self talk?

Listen to Yourself

Maybe as you read this you already know some of the things you say about yourself, or maybe you need to take a little time to actually listen to the words you use, the phrases you say and the way you talk to yourself and even about yourself.  What do you hear?  Negative phrases and comments can become embedded in your subconscious mind so that you repeat them without realising.  Once you start listening to yourself you’ll be surprised at what you hear.

Be Your Own Best Friend

If you want to make improvements in your own self talk and improve the way you think and feel about yourself then you need to be your own best friend.  Think about how you might guide and advise your best friend and then turn that phrasing, positivity and praise towards yourself.  It might not be easy for you to hear – initially.  It will get better and easier the more you do it.

Be Kind

Yes, be kind!  Be kind to yourself and be kind to others around you too.  Although we’re working on self talk, all talk is important.  It’s much easier to have complete positive thoughts and language rather than kind words for yourself and forgetting to be positive and kind to others around you!  If you see someone with great hair or gorgeous shoes, say so!  If your child shows nice manners, say “hey nice manners”.  You will feel good, but you know what?  They will too and so it improves the attitude of everyone around you that you interact with.  That in itself reduces the negativity.

Complement Yourself

We are rubbish at this.  Particularly us with the good British stiff-upper -lip / don’t-show-our-feelings malarkey.  When we don’t show our feelings to others, we don’t show them to ourselves.  So, start to complement yourself.  Start with 3 parts of your body to begin with, if it’s tough.  Look in the mirror and compliment one of those body parts, say what you like about it, then move to the next.  Do this regularly and see if you notice a difference in the way you feel about yourself.

Talking more positively to ourselves will have a great impact on the way we view ourselves.  You start to embed more positive comments and phrases in your subconscious mind, so they become more automatic and then progress and positivity gets easier and easier.  So go on, start today, change the way you talk to yourself.  You deserve it!

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I’d love to know if there are things that you do or how you get on if you try this. Use the comments box below or email me or pop over to share on my Facebook Page.