Are you prone to overthinking?  A lot of people I see can have this issue. Some are overthinking all the time, others find it just happens now and then, or during certain situations or circumstances or other people and ourselves.

Overthinking is an anxiety related issue and when it happens it seems to take over and almost be unstoppable. It’s so time consuming. Those racing thoughts that seem to take up all the space in your head is tiring. Often it’s worrying about any what if, or what the end will be, how will the end look, what will people think and so on.  The thing is, these thoughts cannot always be trusted anyway.  

How Can You Stop Overthinking?

So, how do we calm those racing thoughts?  How do we put a stop to overthinking so we can actually make some decisions and just get on with things?

Well, there are a few things we can do.

Set Deadlines

Sometimes it helps to set deadline. I know this helps me with my work. If I only have a limited amount of time to do something it can channel the focus of attention, so we are less distracted. Focus on the task that needs to be done rather the end result or outcome. This is particularly relevant to me as I write, because it’s school holidays, so I’m fitting work into limited time!!   I keep my attention on the task to be done rather than thinking too far forward about the impact or outcome of my work.

Divert Attention

If there is no particular task, then we can divert those thoughts. This turns our attention and thoughts to other things, so the overthinking doesn’t get space in your head.  So say we are in a social situation and worrying about what to say, what people with think, we can get out of our own heads by focusing on things around us. Use all of your senses to do this. Notice what you see in the room. Look at the decor in detail. the paint or colours in the room, the pictures on the wall, the furniture. How would it feel to touch these items, cold or warm, hard or soft? This takes a bit of practice but can be great.

Be in Charge

Instead of listening to the thoughts, take charge and decide what you are going to do with them.  Often we listen to them, or argue with them, or try to rationalise or even follow them through to something further.  That’s how overthinking is.  Be in charge of your mind instead of having your mind be in charge of you.  Whenever you notice the overthinking going on change them to positive thoughts, or calming thoughts.  Any thoughts or words that work for you are great.  Some examples could be:

I am calm and in control
I believe in myself
I am good, kind, person

Now I’m not going say this is easy, but the repetition of these tips can become more effective each and every time we use them.  So that’s my tips.  Are there any in there that you already do or even ones that you think you could do easily?  I’d love to know what you do and if you can add any more that help you.  Let me know in the comments space below or drop me an email or pop over to share on my Facebook Page.

Do you listen to yourself?  Do you ever stop and listen to how you talk to yourself? Did you know that the way we talk to ourselves can have a massive impact on the way we think, feel and view ourselves?  All this affects our emotional health and general wellbeing.  So many times I hear people with negative self talk.

“I’m no good at …”

“I can’t do ….”

“I’m so silly”

“I’m fat”

“I don’t deserve ……”

and often an awful lot worse!  Anything sound familiar?

Would you talk this way to your best friend, partner, child? (Gosh I hope not!!!!) What would you do if you heard them talking in this way?

So stop just for a moment and ask yourself, is this OK?  Really?  Is it OK that I use so much negative self talk to myself?

OK I know you’ll have some early beliefs in there too.  Possibly a little voice saying “don’t show off” or “stop boasting” however there’s probably also a little voice saying “be kind” and “talk nicely”.   Remember, you’re all grown up now and you do know how to relate and interact!!  We need to apply some of this to ourselves now.

You know, there are plenty of people in the world who will have something negative to say about you.  You don’t have to join in with them!  Negativity drags you down, drains your energy, increases stress, puts pressure on yourself and knocks your confidence.

So how do we change this self talk?

Listen to Yourself

Maybe as you read this you already know some of the things you say about yourself, or maybe you need to take a little time to actually listen to the words you use, the phrases you say and the way you talk to yourself and even about yourself.  What do you hear?  Negative phrases and comments can become embedded in your subconscious mind so that you repeat them without realising.  Once you start listening to yourself you’ll be surprised at what you hear.

Be Your Own Best Friend

If you want to make improvements in your own self talk and improve the way you think and feel about yourself then you need to be your own best friend.  Think about how you might guide and advise your best friend and then turn that phrasing, positivity and praise towards yourself.  It might not be easy for you to hear – initially.  It will get better and easier the more you do it.

Be Kind

Yes, be kind!  Be kind to yourself and be kind to others around you too.  Although we’re working on self talk, all talk is important.  It’s much easier to have complete positive thoughts and language rather than kind words for yourself and forgetting to be positive and kind to others around you!  If you see someone with great hair or gorgeous shoes, say so!  If your child shows nice manners, say “hey nice manners”.  You will feel good, but you know what?  They will too and so it improves the attitude of everyone around you that you interact with.  That in itself reduces the negativity.

Complement Yourself

We are rubbish at this.  Particularly us with the good British stiff-upper -lip / don’t-show-our-feelings malarkey.  When we don’t show our feelings to others, we don’t show them to ourselves.  So, start to complement yourself.  Start with 3 parts of your body to begin with, if it’s tough.  Look in the mirror and compliment one of those body parts, say what you like about it, then move to the next.  Do this regularly and see if you notice a difference in the way you feel about yourself.

Talking more positively to ourselves will have a great impact on the way we view ourselves.  You start to embed more positive comments and phrases in your subconscious mind, so they become more automatic and then progress and positivity gets easier and easier.  So go on, start today, change the way you talk to yourself.  You deserve it!

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I’d love to know if there are things that you do or how you get on if you try this. Use the comments box below or email me or pop over to share on my Facebook Page.